M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
