My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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