what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
