Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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