I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
