take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
