I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
