It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
