I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i came on her dog
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
