you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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