belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
