They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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