If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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