There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
