My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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