this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
