let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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