Having a random hookup so left but love u
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Vodka?
Forever.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
