think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the day after is always just damage control
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
