Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
