With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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