Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
