this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
