My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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