my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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