Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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