She announced her abortion via fbk
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
