I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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