Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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