Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We are all done wearing pants today
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
