shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
