im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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