drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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