her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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