I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
