She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
