i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
