i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
