I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
