Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
