i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
