i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
