Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
