And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
