yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
