Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
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