So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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