is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
