Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I need help removing her.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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