You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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