All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
