Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
