oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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