Got a toothbrush?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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