I heard we made out
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
