When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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