would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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