can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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