Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
