Small penises have feelings too.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
