He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
