Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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