I heard we made out
Porn is love you can see.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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