I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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