...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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