Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
